Learning To Swim
by the-voiceless
Summary: Ellie can't swim. Joel teaches her. As the evening unfolds, what will happen to our two favorite characters? ( JoelxEllie pairing)


**Learning To Swim**

It was nearly evening.

The sun had slowly begun to dip down over the hills and the woods.

Joel and Ellie, two travelers, were camping in a thicket of serviceberry and crowded pine. All day they had not seen one Clicker, which was a good sign.

Light beams knifed through the branches onto a large water pool, in translucent wedges. Little tiny galaxies of bugs were swirling as grasshoppers played their musical numbers from one bush to another. The last rays of the sun flamed over the ridge to the west.

Ellie stood nervously at the edge of the pool while Joel waded in the water with both his arms outstretched.

"I'm just dipping my toe in and that's all I'm doing."

"Ellie. You'll be fine. I'm right here. Won't let you drown. Now come on. It's not that cold."

"You know you don't have to do this. There's no trouble for you to—"

"No, you need to learn. Can't risk you drownin' if we got something hot on our tails. Reckon we'll get along much quicker if you learn now."

She sighed," Fine."

Her shoulders dropped with a sigh and she kicked off her shoes. She slipped off her socks, too. She glanced deep into the water as she slowly stepped in. She gasped. The mud squeezed between her toes like slime, releasing muddy debris around her ankles.

"It feels gross."

Joel waited patiently as she slowly descended further. He waded to the shallow part of the water where she stood frozen, afraid to move or slip on a rock and fall completely.

"Now, I'm going to come over to you then take you to that part over there, okay?"

"Okay."

"Here I come now," he moved beside her and she tightly clung to his elbow.

He slowly escorted her through the water," Alright, wasn't so bad was it? Now this part here is deep. I'm gon' let you go and you're gon' try and swim."

"Joel. This is a bad idea."

"Let go," he tried to move away from her arms.

She clung tighter," I can't do this."

"Yes you can, now swim," he moved away again," Let go."

"No, I can't do this. It's too deep."

"My feet are touching the bottom, it's not that deep."

She shot him a glare," Duh! You're taller than me."

He slipped out of her grip- and suddenly she began to twirl, turn, and twist her body around like a chicken-cat on fire! Panic set in real good. Her arms flapped and flapped and slapped and stabbed the water! Her legs kicked and kicked doing her no good. Ellie felt water go in her ears and mouth and nose. She could taste fish and muck!

"J-Joel!" she yelled.

He coaxed her, "You're alright, you're alright… You just need to trust the water then you'll be fine."

Ellie began to choke! Her head began bobbing beneath the water. Her feet scrambled left and right, trying to find a solid landing while her arms reached towards the clouds in desperation.

"You son of a—," she choked," Joel!"

"Ok ok ok, calm down, grab a hold of me." He lifted her with both arms and held her there on his chest. He supported her for a minute, allowing her to calm the hell down. Watching her cough, breathe, cough, wheeze, and breathe again, with both her hands latched together behind his neck.

"Try again?"

"Are you crazy? Fuck, I almost died no thanks to you!" she coughed, spitting water," Shit, Joel I thought you were good at this stuff."

He looked at her," Come on. Don't be scared. I'm right here with you. Nothin's gon happen. Now, try again. Ain't gon rest till you learn how to."

Her hands unlatched behind his neck.

"Paddle your legs," he said.

He took both her hands in his, and then softly glided her through the water. They went in a big circle before she seemed to be familiar with pushing her feet back and forth.

"Use your body weight to balance. Use your arms and hands to move frontwards, backwards, and which way you want. Move your legs back and forth- back and forth—that's it. Keep going."

She nervously glanced at him, then back to the water, "Have you ever taught swimming before?"

"No."

She rolled her eyes, "OH OK, good to know I'm in the right hands."

He lowered his voice," You are in the right hands."

She moved her legs forward like he said, and then she felt as if she was walking through air. She imagined walking through air in the middle of a great blue sky because the water reflected the fiery clouds, spilling its guts all over the sky.

It reminded her of her dream. The plane. Flying.

Soon the warm evening air floated up to the draw and the pines whistled like distant surf, but in the lull between the cool night and twilight, the air was still, and their breathing distinct. She could hear his. And he could hear hers. His wet palm was warm like the glass of a lantern. He towed her in circles until she seemed to be comfortable with the water, moving her legs back and forth like a well-oiled machine.

"Joel."

She spoke. Her voice was clear enough to hear, audible under the sound of jays and the chattering's of a squirrel. He waited, not breathing, feeling his pulse beating in his wrist beneath his palm where her hand clutched tightly.

"Joel."

She spoke again. His jaw tightened. Quick, he needs to distract himself.

"Now, I'm gon let go of one hand and hold you with the other. You're gon try and swim with one arm while I still haul you around. Got it?"

She nodded," Okay."

His knuckles tightened and moved slowly before letting her small hand go, as if her hand was a super magnet that he could not deny. Her arm loosened and dipped into the water. Her hand waved back and forth pushing little waves. The water didn't seem to mean any harm. She glanced down looking at tiny fish zip around like ping pong and water spiders skate across the shade of tall grass. Awkwardly, she looked up at him.

"Move your arm out in front of you, scoop into the water, then pull on up. Push yourself forward. Like a paddle. Watch me," he demonstrated his one free arm and swam closer to the lily pads easily," It's easy. Go on. Try."

"Okay…" she tried it.

"Don't rush. Keep your balance. Move your legs like I showed you," he watched her slow and cautious progress," Slow and steady now."

"What happens if I don't keep my balance?"

"You'll drown," he said," But I ain't gon let that happen."

"Well aren't you dandy…"

He circled once more lap then paused," Alright, this is where the lesson really starts. I'm gon let you go, now. Just stay focused and paddle. Dog paddle if you have to. Now you start here and try to make it over where those logs are. I'll be right here in front of you."

"Joel."

"I'm right here, not going nowhere."

She drew a nervous breathe," I'm not sure."

He squeezed her hand," Not going to let anything happen to you."

"Scout's honor?"

He nodded," Scout's honor."

His fingers un-weaved themselves from her small ones, unclasping their bond and he could see the fear in her eyes as he slowly let her go. It was evident that they had created a bridge between them, supporting them, holding them, saving each other from drowning. The length of her arm began to quiver as panic returned tightening her throat and hyperventilating through her nostrils. The truth was—he was scared, too.

"Swim," he said.

"Joel."

He created distance, "Trust the water."

"J-Joel."

"Trust your instincts, Ellie."

She whimpered, "Joel."

He lowered his voice, "Trust me…"

He let her go.

**Later that night.**

Joel had become a living statue with his back hunched over and his elbow resting on his knee. The campfire was very small (careful not to get any attention) but warm enough to dry himself. He was sitting upon a log. The sun had completely disappeared while the moon had taken its place in the sky, shooting beams upon the lily pads and orchids awakening the little bodies of fireflies. Sarah had always loved the luminous beauty of the warm evenings back home- when everything 'had' been perfect. His knuckles felt sore and pinched, as if needing to punch something. Instead he threw another log over the fire. Sparks flew. That'll keep them warm for the night till morning comes again.

But a very 'severe' problem had come up. An extremely tight knot had formed in his gut, squeezing, cranking, yanking, and pulling in his chest. Like a slow deep penetrating heart attack that affected his judgment, his ego, his morality, his thinking, and his humanity. Fuck. Why couldn't he just press a 'replay' button and erase this evening's past! His jaw tightened, grinding his teeth and pressing his tongue to the roof of his mouth with anxiety.

"Ellie," he whispered, slowly lifting his head and staring at her through the dancing flames.

She did not dare look up. She was checking her hair for split ends.

Swimming lessons were over nearly 3 hours ago.

Ellie couldn't sleep. Her arms and legs were sore and tired. Felt like she's been running for miles. Biting her lip, she shook her head.

"I'm fine."

Joel choked," Don't tell me that."

"Really I am."

He growled, "Bullshit."

She wiped her face," Let's just forget it. Another day goes by. I want to sleep."

His knee twitched," Just let me say my part."

"No," she stubbornly looked away," Just drop it."

Joel stood up.

He snapped," No, not this time! Now you listen here. I'm a poor old man who lost his motivation years before you were born who's had it tough out here with nothing but clothes on his back and nothing to lose. I have one foot in the grave and the other with nowhere to go. Now you can think all you want about me but just know that there is always, always a reason to create a purpose for yourself—"

"Apology accepted," she whispered, turning around.

"Don't turn your back on me!" he yelled," I-I've made stupid mistakes… that I'm not particularly proud of… there is nothing you should expect of me…! I'm not anyone special. I survive and endure. I'm not going to be the man you think I am."

She didn't respond.

"You can hate me all you want. But there are certain things of the adult world that you will learn when the time comes. But… not with me."

He brushed his hand through his hair," I-I don't even know what I'm saying."

Ellie whispered," Don't."

Joel wanted to shake her, snap her to reality! Touch her forehead to check her temperature. Splash water on her face! Do anything, absolutely anything to make her understand the shame and nature of his crime. It was a bruise that would never go away. The anxiety began to move in and he could feel the fear and shame cloud his judgment, making him yearn for redemption. He needed forgiveness, he needed the punishment. He walked towards her, kneeled down, and yanked her shoulder around so they were face to face.

"What are you—"

"Slap me," he demanded, and held up her arm in the air," You need to slap me. Go on."

"Joel!" Ellie yanked her arm out," Joel, its ok." She placed extra emphasis on that last word.

She continued," You just kissed me. It was just a kiss. One kiss. No one's going to call the executioner."

His head rattled. She said the word! Three times. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.

He didn't know if the kiss had been intentional or an accident. After Ellie had accomplished swimming to the logs, she had been gleaming with happiness and success that she was jumping up and down with her hands in the air. Her wet hair stuck to her neck and face and little water droplets teasingly ran down her mid-drift. The sky burned more than ever through the thicket of the woods, bathing Ellie in light…. god, she looked like Christmas morning. She rose from those lily pads like a silhouetted mermaid. Then after she threw herself at him, laughing heartedly with her smile, he lost himself completely because… he didn't want to let her go again.

**Later that**** night.**

Joel couldn't sleep. Lying against her tiny, slim body provided plenty of heat—and that was the problem. It provided too much heat. But his rib cage, shoulders, and hips (not to mention his constantly complaining and twitching groin) could only endure the bumpy, rocky ground for a minute or two before he had to wiggle, reposition, roll, curl, and search for some other way to get comfortable. She must've been uncomfortable too. She was squirming and rolling as much as he was, which gave him more concern that she would possibly think he would try 'something' again. For fuck's sake, she could his daughter. Or his granddaughter!

Ellie could feel Joel squirm behind her and she felt oddly nervous that he would do something to get her attention. He could be her dad. Or her uncle! Or great granddad! It made her so nervous that she began to squirm too. She laid there selecting her options. Confront him about his sleep problem? Leave him alone and wait until morning. Do a little pillow-talk and ease the tension? She was only 14 years old! No one taught her these kinds of things. But she did know that teenagers her age do face these things (with boys her own age) and usually it ends with a laugh or two. But what was so funny about this? Nothing.

Nothing.


End file.
